SCRIPTURE: Esther 1
OBSERVATION/APPLICATION:
He sent letters to all parts of the empire, to each province in its own script and language, proclaiming that every man should be the ruler of his own home and should say whatever he pleases. [Esther 1:22]
The king hosts a lavish feast to reveal his generosity [Esther 1:7]. But apparently his generosity has its limits – no generosity for his queen when she does not meet his demands.
Here we see the battle of the sexes played out again. And as is often the case, the men use force to make the women comply.
This goes all the way back to the curse that resulted from the fall into sin: Then God said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you. ” [Genesis 3:16]
Some people mistakenly see this as an example of ‘headship’, the idea that the husband is the head of the wife: For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Saviour of his body, the church. [Ephesians 5:23]
The desire for control and the husband’s ruling over are not a part of God’s design, they are a part of the curse; whatever headship is, it is not “ruling over”!

But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” [Matthew 20:25-28]
Jesus describes King Xerxes here, flaunting his authority and lording it over his wife.
Again, this is a part of the curse; Jesus makes it clear that this is not how it is supposed to be.
Whatever headship is, it ought to look more like what Jesus is talking about – not being served but serving, not demanding sacrifice but making it!

The message of Jesus is good news in this “king of the hill” world where everyone is scrambling over the other to be the top.
Jesus models true headship by denying Himself, taking the lesser position, doing what He could to bless and benefit those He was “head” over.
I believe that everyone is called to this kind of headship; this is why Paul also speaks about everyone submitting to one another (Ephesians 5:21]

We should not look to King Xerxes (or his wise men) to discover how husbands ought to relate to their wives; they are a classic case of the curse in action.
Rather, let us all (husbands and wives and employees and employers and students and teachers) look to King Jesus for the better way – Among you it will be different!
May it be different among us as Jesus-followers, may it be different for me!

PRAYER:
Lord, forgive me when I act more like Xerxes than like Jesus. Help me to discover the true pattern of headship – self-denial, sacrifice, eagerness to serve and willingness to take second place.