SCRIPTURE: Jeremiah 20
OBSERVATION/APPLICATION:
You deceived me, LORD, and I was deceived; you overpowered me and prevailed. I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me. [Jeremiah 20:7]
But the LORD is with me like a mighty warrior; so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail. [Jeremiah 20:11]
Why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame? [Jeremiah 20:18]
The pushmi-pullyu (pronounced “push-me—pull-you”) is a character from Hugh Lofting’s children’s book, Dr. Dolittle.
It is a “gazelle-unicorn cross” which has two heads (one of each) at opposite ends of its body.
When it tries to move, both heads try to go in opposite directions.
When I hear Jeremiah in this chapter, I think of the two heads pushing and pulling in opposite directions.
You deceived me, You are with me, curse the day I was born!

I am not being critical of Jeremiah, I can sense the real tension within him, wanting to stand up for God, having to speak for God, yet hating what happens when he does so!
But if I say, “I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name,” his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. [Jeremiah 20:9]
He is being pushed and pulled in opposite directions.
Jesus experienced this pressure too.
“Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!” [John 12:27-28]
What shall I say – this was no academic debate for Jesus, it was the internal pressure of knowing what doing God’s will would lead to.
His heart is genuinely troubled, like Jeremiah.
He does not curse the day He was born, for He knows that this was the very reason why He had come – but it was still an agonizing struggle for Him.

Following Jesus will bring us into this same pushmi-pullyu tension.
We are signing up for military (in a spiritual sense) service, and the Enemy of our soul will mark us as a target if we choose to fulfill God’s calling.
If we are not feeling this tension, we may well consider whether we are actually following the Lord or not.
He will take us to places of humility, self-denial, sacrificial giving or serving, going against the flow, taking a stand when it may be unpopular.
Which head will win our pushmi-pullyu tension – Christ or my self.
The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. [John 12:25-26]

PRAYER:
Lord, I feel this same tension, help me to lean towards trusting You, and not towards quitting or despairing.