SCRIPTURE: Psalm 42
OBSERVATION/APPLICATION:
As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him? [Psalms 42:1-2]
Have you experienced times like this, when God seems distant, absent, uncaring; or when you feel disconnected from God? – I seem to have this a lot.
But I do not always feel desperate, like David does here.
When things are going well, when I have all of my daily needs being met, when there are no crises – at times like that I can coast through life and not feel my need for God.
Its not until I am in a desert, or impacted by a crisis, or experiencing a deep soul ache within – at times like these then I can relate to David.
Desperate, spiritually starving, thirsting to see and experience God, to stand before Him, to be satisfied in Him!

God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth. God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied. [Matthew 5:3-6]
I don’t want to hear this; what this says to me is that I need to be in that place of desperation, that I need to be spiritually starving and thirsty BEFORE I can be satisfied!
I know this is true in my experience; like I said earlier, when things are going well I do not really seek God that passionately.
So what I am sensing in this is that the best time for me, for my soul, is when I am going through tough times, when I feel the absence of God and the emptiness of life – these are the best times for blessing.

I want to be a Jesus-follower; I want to be with Him, to learn from Him, to live like Him, to live for Him.
But I am also very comfortable in this life – and very comfortable with being comfortable.
My spiritual walk feels weak, lack-lustre, half-hearted… lukewarm?
My best experiences of the Lord have been in times when I felt stretched, challenged, desperate.
Hmm, should I be asking the Lord to bring me to this place of desperation, so He can satisfy my soul?
Ask him to be poor, to mourn, to be humbled, to be desperate for justice – that is a scary prayer.

This leaves me in a place of tension.
I do not want to pray for suffering, but I do want to pray for a spiritually hungry heart, a passion for God.
Or to use another example, I want the patience but not the challenges that require the patience.
Not sure what to do with this, but I do know that above all else the best thing for me is to be passionate and eager for God, so this is what I will pray for.

PRAYER:
Lord, I am not hungry and desperate like David here, and I know I do not want to ask for hardship. But I will leave that to You, and trust You, and simply pray: help me be passionate and eager for You!