Yesterday I watched video clips that depicted the cruel torture and death of Jesus on the cross, something that I have done many times around this time of year.
For my own spiritual journey, watching these graphic scenes has helped me to experience the depth and horror of what Jesus endured, as well as to identify with the billions+ of victims of horrific abuse throughout the centuries.
Yesterday again, I was disturbed… but in a different way.

Years ago, I remember showing scenes from the tame “Jesus Film” (from Campus Crusade for Christ) during a Good Friday service, and a parent being concerned (upset) about exposing their young children to those graphic scenes without warning, taking away their place to decide whether they should see them or not.
At the time I did not think the concern valid, considering (1) that the scenes were not very graphic, (2) that young kids are exposed to much worse scenes in media than this, and (3) that not facing the brutality that these scenes portray is a way of “looking away” from the countless victims of suffering worldwide.
To some extent, I still think this…
But, and yesterday I experienced the “but”, in fact I ended up feeling like a “butt”.

This time I showed clips taken from Mel Gibson’s, “The Passion of the Christ”, not once but twice, at the beginning and the end of the service.
For me, these scenes are moving, inspiring, humbling, overwhelming.
But what are these scenes for young children?
Perhaps its because I am in a different setting now, a ‘seeker friendly’ church, and a church that wants to present itself as ‘committed to kids’.
But when after the service someone gently challenged me by asking whether someone ought to apologize to the visiting family with young children who saw those brutal clips, it hit me!
I’ve been thinking about this in regards to adults, how good it is for adults to face this stuff, but what about the children?

Maybe some children can handle it, maybe children today are desensitized enough to this that it has little impression on them, BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT.
The deeper question is, do I have the right to force these graphic images on children, or on people in general, without first warning them and giving them an opportunity to not look?
Even if I feel it can be beneficial to face this stuff, does the love of Jesus compel me to make them see it, or rather to invite them to view it or not?
And as a parent, I feel strongly that others should not make my children (mine are older now) watch explicit material of any kind without first consulting with us as parents.

I feel sick now, I really do. I did not sleep well last night, and I still feel very unsettled.
So I need to apologize – to the parent of those children who spoke to me years ago, to the parents of the children present at our service yesterday, and to everyone in my congregations past and present.
And to Jesus, Whom I have dishonoured in my desire to honour.
As I mentioned, I am now serving in a church that wants to make blessing the children our #1 priority.
As part of this, I have stressed that we need to make our gatherings kid-friendly, and family-friendly.

I cannot change what has happened in the past, but I can determine to change things from now on.