“The gunman in the deadliest shooting rampage in U.S. history was a loner who wouldn’t even speak to his roommate.” (Toronto Star)

What goes on in the heart and mind of the loner who becomes a killer? I have no idea what the story behind Cho Seung-Hui was. No doubt there were many contributing factors. But when I see that word “loner”, I can imagine that extreme loneliness might lead to both despair and anger, a dangerous mix. And apparently there are many lonely people out there, 36% according to a 1990 Gallup poll.

That would be 1 in 3 people. Look around you, can you see them?

But what can we do if we’re lonely? When we’re lonely, its often because people do not truly see us, or know us, or care about us. I may want friends, but I can’t force myself on others, can I? And besides, when your depressed, often the last thing you want is to be with other people.

No easy answers. But somehow we need to be honest about the problem of loneliness. It is deadly, for you and for others. The feelings of loneliness will lead to despair, possibly anger and hopelessness, and if unaddressed, eventual tragedy.

When I see the gunman in the Virginia Tech massacre described as a “loner”, I think of Heman. Heman wrote a blog where he journaled about his despair of life, reflections on death… and his being a loner. He writes, “darkness is my closest friend.”

If we sense loneliness overwhelming us, we can learn from Heman. He was lonely, but he talked to God about it. Check out his blog, you will see that he deals honestly with his pain and doesn’t find all the answers he is looking for, but he still clings desperately to God. Check out his blog here.

One other thing, tell someone that you are lonely. Talking to God is a good start, but admitting your struggle to someone else can also help you process your feelings. They may not be able to fix you, but at least you are not carrying this thing alone.

Do you have any thoughts on loneliness you wish to share?

Pastor Norm Sennema